Do I have to pick a side?

I would rather go up and in

I went to a class after voting on Tuesday. The teacher opened with: “We’re not gathered here to go left or right. We’re here to go up and in.” Every cell in my body softened. Ahhh. Amen to that!

My Abhaya Hridaya Mudra - "fearless heart seal.” This symbolic gesture can help you get out of the head and into the heart, overcome fear, and live in tune with your true nature.

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Election Season seemed extra super-charged this year and it was as though the only sand I could find to hide my head in was quicksand - never truly still or grounded - infused with the collective angst rising from the pressure cooker we’re living in.

I decided to turn toward it in a conscious way — inspired to offer a few Yoga for Election Season gatherings where space was created to practice Tempertantrumasana (lie on your back, flail limbs and groan) and Whatthefuckasana (stand in Tadasana, wave your hands in the air and say What the fuck!), among other things. I rounded out the practice with a guided Metta (loving-kindness) meditation and choose-your-own-adventure savasana.

I was thankful to encounter a message from another local yoga teacher, Annie Moyer, this week that beautifully captured how I’ve been feeling:

To be aware that we are not ultimately separate is to see that harm to one is harm to all, and the opposite of harm is love. To fall into the trap of what Martin Luther King Jr. called the “drum major instinct” of desire for dominance is to neglect our common ground of humanity. This is how I plan to keep my seat for whatever arises in the coming days. If I sink into fear, disillusionment, or indignation, I will return to love. And if I find myself in wild celebration, gloating righteously, I will also return to love. Part of walking this 8-limbed path of yoga is understanding what we leave in our interconnected wake.

May our country be free from suffering, may we care deeply for each other in these tender days, and may we be at peace.

This is equanimity (upeksha) in action. This is what the practice can prepare us for.

And when the world feels so far upside down, maybe peace feels out of reach. I get it.

Lately, the intention I am working with is: I am unfuckwithable.

Because whether there is peace in the world or massive upheaval, whatever is being served up, I am here for it and humbled by knowing how little I am in control of. In times of despair it helps me to move, breathe, write, rest, love, cry — all of the things that make me human. I think that is the gift of suffering - when you’re ready to receive it - is feeling so damn divinely human. The Darkness is real, and, so is The Light. What a time to be alive!

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I’ll never forget the shocking thing my teacher told me when we were in the throes of Covid lockdowns in 2020: “Joy is never inappropriate.”

In Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teaching of Plants, Robin Wall Kimmerer writes:

Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift.

Do I have to pick a side? I would rather go up and in. Are these directions just as “inappropriate” as peace, joy, and love?

I know there are others like me out there. The Quiet Ones. You’re not alone. 👊

It’s difficult for me to express my feelings on the state of the country and politics because I sit with a great deal of confusion and fear of being criticized for holding “unpopular” perspectives. It makes my knees shake…